Broken

Have you ever felt so broken that you weren't sure how or if you could ever be fixed even enough to function properly or even good enough again? Well, that's how I feel right now. It's not just because May is here and my heart has this enormous hole in it. It's not just because I'm reliving the nightmare of December 1, 2010 all over again with this class action law suit that we are having to gather all this inforamtion for and relive details that honestly I had not read before. It's not even that I don't even feel like a whole person with my brain all scrambled up due to the cuncussion. I think it's a combimation of it all. I feel like I am just one big confused blob moving around through this world just going through the motions more than normal these days and it makes me sad and mad at the same time. I'm just ready to feel like my old "new normal" again (I think) as scary as that might sound. I just need something to feel "right". I know I haven't felt right since December 1, 2010, but at least I knew why I didn't feel right then. Now I'm just at the mercy of doctors that I just met. Maybe once I finally get this MRI I will either get some results or they will just tell me AGAIN that it's going to take time. I'm over things taking time. Time just takes too long and some times TIME will never be enough.