Monday, July 21, 2014

You really ARE going to miss this...

There is a song named "You're gonna miss this".  It talks about a mom wanting to rush to the next stage of life with her marriage and children.  This couldn't be a truer song.  The truth is, you are going to miss the little stages that you go through with your children.  Whether you are having the sleepless nights of an infant (or in my case until the end of Kindergarten), or experiencing the terrible 2's, or the horrific 3's or those dreadful teenage years or the insane transition from high school to adult hood... you will miss this one day.
I will just share a few things that I wasn't sure I would get through, but yet, I did and honestly, today, I would give anything and everything I have just to have a few minutes of any of these moments back.
Chad rarely slept (as a baby/small child).  He truly only had 2 weeks left of Kindergarten before he slept through the night.  That was only after having been on Ritalin for several weeks before that even happened.  It was a lot of sleepless or very little sleep nights, but I guess I was so used to it that it didn't seem like a big deal.  That is until I realized my sisters' and friends' kids slept all night within a few days of coming home from the hospital.  However, it worked for us.
Then there was the time he would pretend the house or his room was on fire and while I would tell him that wasn't good to joke like that, it didn't seem to phase him a bit.  One evening I was getting ready to leave the house and he was listening to his country music videos and singing in the living room and ran into my room screaming the microwave was on fire (first, I knew I wasn't cooking) so finally discovering he had placed his microphone in the microwave he was telling the truth this time.  After having the fire department inspect the house to make sure there was no damage it left me with a good opportunity to teach him about the boy that cried wolf.  Luckily he didn't do that again.  However, that didn't stop him from climbing my walls (with this feet) holding on to railing in my bedroom pretending he was Pippy Long Stonking.  Then to prove mom wrong after I told him to stop before he fell, he decided to climb onto the bathroom counter top and leap off (I mean, it made sense, Pippy did it) and sprained both ankles.  Off to the ER we went and the doctor says, "You need to keep him off his feet for two weeks".  Really?  He had met Chad and knew that wasn't going to happen.  We just figured it out and so did Chad (usually just pushing through the pain and doing what he wanted to do anyway).  Let's not forget when he decided to help his dad fix his truck by taking the hammer to both headlines (ok, that part was pretty dang funny).  Then we had a moment when he decided he would hide in the dryer.  Yep, the clothes dryer.  I decided the only way to teach him a lesson was to leave the door open and hit the button and allow it to make a 1/2 a turn and with arms and legs spread out and him yelling "momma", he didn't bother to hide in the dryer again.  Instead, he thought the refrigerator would be a better idea.  Ugh!  Then we are at my parent's wedding anniversary when he decided to take his finger and scrape it across the bottom of the cake through the icing.  When I got on to him and threatened to spank him, his response, "Not in this life time".  Really?  Then when I find out he is dipping for the first time, the first time he decided to get drunk or the speeding ticket, enlisting into the Marine Corps, deployments or the first girl he brought home and wanted to marry and did.  All those things I would take again in a skinny minute.  Whatever stage you are going through with your babies, trust me, you will want these moments back one day.  It won't just be if you no longer have your baby on this earth.  I can tell you that I have missed a lot of those moments many times in life even before I lost Chad.  It just makes missing those things sting more with him no longer here.
Never take for granted that your babies will always be here.  Never wish your life or theirs away because you are tired of this stage or that.  Just soak it all in and love and enjoy every moment to it's fullest even the hard times.  You will wish for those days back one day and that much I know without fail, you will want that back.

Baby Chad "photo by Stacy Gough @ Phorever Studio"

Chad in San Diego, CA

Momma Bear & Chad on his deployment leave after Iraq.  Love him so much.

Little Chad Easter in NC @ Granny & Papaw's house

Easter morning in Rossville, TN

In KC BoBo & I taking him to board the bus for boot camp 2007

On the lake with the Wilson family

His 1st Easter (he was alone because he & BoBo slept through the big Easter Egg hunt) <3

My handsome Marine on his wedding day 9-18-09

My baby did a mean hair cut in Iraq!

My baby's resting place and where I still can't believe I have to visit just to see his name and be where his resting place is.  It doesn't seem possible and I would give anything to have any moments back....  :(