Monday, April 13, 2015

Counting my blessings

I've always said I was blessed beyond measure when I married my best friend.  That has proven to be more true than I ever thought it would be in our almost 10 years of marriage.  It may have taken us more than once to get it right, but honestly, I wouldn't change anything along the way as it certainly brought us together just at the right time for each of us.  I feel we got the best of each other when we met.
I'm pretty sure he wasn't techincally "looking" to meet anyone and I definitely wasn't when we were introduced by friends at work.  It was the best introduction I've had and I truly mean that.
I am convinced that the Lord orchestrated our meeting, us dating 4 1/2 years, and then getting married in 2005 when we did.  I didn't know it at the time, but I would come to need him more than I ever dreamed I would when my son and only child was taken from this earth.  I know I would not be here today if not for his love, support, encouragement, and strength when I just can't find it.
I've been reminded lately how precious having him by my side really is.  Two of our friends at work have lost their husbands recently and it has just devistated them as well as all of us that know and care about them.  It has made me want to hold on to Tebo even tighter.  After the first one lost her husband, I looked at him and told him I didn't know what I would do in her situation and literally a month to the day the second one lost her husband.  It just breaks my heart to know these ladies are dealing with this loss and without what was surely their rock as well.
I don't do near enough to show Tebo how much he means to me and I am committing not only to him, but to myself to do a better job of showing my appreciation to him and letting him know how much I love him.
I know marriage is hard at times and with life and circumstances that take place, sometimes our marriage can take a hit, but that's when you have to dig deeper and try just a little harder.  I know, for me, that without him I could have never made it through the loss of my son and daily I struggle without Chad and he continues to be my constant rock and is so understanding.  He allows me to have my moments and is there when I just need his strength, because I can't muster up my own.
I would challenge each of you reading this if you are married to take a look at your spouse with the same eyes you saw him with when you were dating and remember to let him know often how much he means to you and how much he is loved and needed.  I wouldn't challenge you, if I weren't including myself in that challenge.
When you have a loss of any kind that touches you as deeply as a child or spouse there are many days (at least from personal experience) that you just fake all day that you are "okay" when you really aren't and having Tebo by my side it allows me to let that guard down once I get home and he loves me anyway.  That truly means more to me than I could truly express and all I hope is that he truly knows how much I love him and how much I need him each and every day.
I know he isn't reading this (too many words for him to want to take the time :)).  He would rather have the cliff notes.  Ha!  However, if he ever did decide to read it one day, know that I love you babe and I appreciate you more than I can ever express.  You've been with me during the worse time of my life and you continue to stand strong by my side.  Thank you for that.