Monday, July 25, 2016


I'm sure most everyone has that one "friend" that seems to always want to control everything and everyone around them.  It's like it's their way or no way.  I've had them in the past, but that's where they are today, in the past.  I just do not have the energy or desire to continue attempting to have a friendship with people like that.

However, someone very close to me has this friendship and it's a long relationship and while I get why she doesn't or won't just walk away from it forever, I struggle to keep my mouth shut when I see or hear about her constant manipulation and controlling tendencies. 

Why is it there are people in this world that cannot accept that life or events don't revolve around them?  I'm starting to believe it is more about their insecurities than anything else.

So, today I heard about yet another situation where this "friend" not only manipulated this person I'm close to that will remain anonymous, but she also basically pushed herself right into another event and uses bribery to control the situation again. 

I know this person I'm close to loves this "friend" and has just always had her in her life and doesn't want to close that chapter forever, but for Pete's sake, really?  Again.  I just do not get it and maybe I never will.

Maybe I can be a bit cold hearted, but I'm really not.  I just see things from the outside in that don't feel or look right and it bothers me. 

I'm so grateful that my friends are really my friends and I don't have to deal with that stuff any longer.  It's a choice, so I guess if I had chosen to keep that in my life then I wouldn't be blogging right now, but I did make a choice to not allow that in my life any longer and it feels good, but it sure makes it stand out big time when I see it with others and especially for someone I'm close to.  Ok, I'm done (for now).

Thursday, July 21, 2016


Today I just needed to just step away from my desk so at lunch I drove down the street and filled up with gas and grabbed a sandwich and just went back to work and sat in the car while I ate and listened to music.  I couldn't possibly miss you more, but today I just felt a little more emotional than "normal" days.  I decided to look through my pictures on my phone (which I tend to do quite often, so nothing new about that).  However, today I was just taken right back to when you were little and it was just the two of us against the world.  Oh my gosh you were so sweet.

That sweet little smile of yours and those eyes.  Oh how those sweet little eyes would just sparkle when you smiled.  I miss all of that.  There is nothing I don't miss to be quite honest.

One of the things I love about reminiscing about you is that even through the tears, seeing your sweet little face brings a smile to my face.  I guess that's what bitter-sweet memories do.

Oh if I could visit heaven...  First, you would get pretty tired of me, because I would be there all the time.  However, if given just a moment I would give you the biggest momma bear hug ever and just not let go! 

I love you and miss you son more than words could truly ever express. 

Friday, July 15, 2016

Still getting surprised

You know, it's been 6 years and 7 months and 15 days since Chad passed away and still yet, I find myself surprised and amazed at how much the Marine Corps and their guys present and past still think of us and do things for us to let us know they haven't forgotten. 

Yesterday morning I woke up to an email from Sgt Major Boldenow inviting us to be honored guests at the USMC Birthday Ball in San Diego, CA.  They want to honor Chad through us for his ultimate sacrifice.  I truly find myself at a loss for words (that is some feat) with appreciation for this gesture.

We are planning to attend on Nov. 10, 2016 and I honestly can't wait.  Not for the recognition, but for the chance to see how much these guys still care and to hopefully see some of Chad's buddies and the friends we made through this journey. 

My heart is full and the appreciation can never be measured in words.

Thank you USMC and all that have or are serving.  It means more than you know.