Fog Frustration

If you have ever had a severe concussion, you will relate to this post. If you have not, you may have a harder time, but I hope you will have some empathy and say a prayer for me if you are the praying type. At some point in the middle of the night of January 21, 2021 I got up in the night to go to the restroom (which as you get older you will find this is a normal routine). I have been having episodes off and on over time where my legs just didn't want to hold me up or go where I wanted them to go and we really thought it was more likely my blood sugar than anything. Well, this particular night for whatever reason they definitely didn't work and I hit the floor in the bathroom HARD! I first landed on my rear and then slammed my head on the tile floor. Tebo said he heard my head echo from the bedroom, he ran in there and picked me up and put me back in the bed and felt the back of my head and he said it felt like a softball. He ran to get a bag of frozen peas and held it on my head all night watching me to make sure I was okay. He said I cried most of the night. I have absolutely zero memory of even getting out of the bed to go to the restroom. I don't remember the fall, he putting me back to bed or even holding frozen peas on my head. I barely remember that weekend at all. He said we called the doctor's office and left a message for him that weekend and went on about our business. We even walked our future land and I really have a very vague memory of even that. On Monday apparently my doctor called and had me report to the ER. Tia came to pick me up and Tebo met us at the hospital and they did a CT and determined I had a fractured tailbone and a very severe concussion. I have zero memory of being at the hospital or the ride to the hospital. That is very scary. Anyway, apparently there has been a change in the protocal for concussions now. Now they want you to sleep so for the next 4 days I slept and only woke when Tebo woke me to eat something and then back to sleep I went. Here I am on April 7th and I can tell you I am still in a fog and I still fight a headache every day. I've seen a Neurologist at least 4 times now and he tells me it is completely normal to still feel this way given the severity of the head injury I had. That does not give me solace or encouragement at this point, but I am certain it could be worse, but I am very discouraged. I am very dizzy every day, I have a headache every day, I feel like my head is in a fog every day, I have very bad short term memory every day (this has never been great, but it's far worse right now), my vision is wors right now, my entire face including my teeth are numb, I can't focus, I struggle with my words (now mostly as they day goes along) and I am sore all over. I'm just a hot mess over here and it is starting to get extremely old and frustrating. I want to cry every day, but if I do I know it will only make my headache worse and no body wants that so I just try to push that urge back and push forward as much as I possibly can. The neurologist believes the reason for my legs not wanting to work very well is due to migraines. I have never heard of that before, but he is the expert. He put me on a migraine preventative medication that I started after my first visit with him and I am on my second full month on the full dose of that. I can't really tell if it is truly working yet as I am not fully reovered from the concussion yet, but I have to believe it is helping some. Yesterday I saw him again and he added another mediation to help with my neck to see if he can get it to relax that might help my rest that will also help my brain heal. I pray this is the answer that will get the healing process jump start. I need healing and I need it to start soon. I feel like I am just floating through life right now and it is a very scary and weird feeling. I almost feel like I did when I was first notified that my son was killed in Afghanistan. I know that sounds crazy (and it just might be), but the fog that I was living in for a few months is exactly what I feel like right now and with May approaching I don't need this fog on top of the sadness that is creeping up on me. That probably scares me a bit more than this stupid concussion recovery. Any and all prayers are appreciated more than I could ever express. I'm not a begger, but I could beg if needed right now. Please and thank you.