Monday, February 17, 2020

Inside screams

Oh my gosh!!!!  This has been a challenging couple of weeks and this past week and weekend were no exception.  Daddy has been in a mood.  I'm not sure if it's a mood or just the agitation and getting used to the new medication, but whatever it is, it has pushed me to almost a breaking point.  I'm worn out, hurt, and mad all at the same time.  It's hard to manage through his moods and work and continue to keep him happy and comfortable.  NO!  It is not to the point that he has to go into a nursing home or anything like that, it's just wearing on my mental and emotional state as well as my physical state.  I am sure it's wearing on Tebo as well, but he does a great job of hiding that from me most of the time.
Friday was a bad day at Pace (first one since starting).  He couldn't find anything nice to say about anything.  Thinking I could improve his mood I got him home as quickly as I could and fixed him peanut butter crackers for a snack and gave him his "vitamin".  Tebo offered to bring dinner home so we didn't have to go out so that worked out well.  He was still very much a smart ass towards me and critical of Tebo's size/weight, but we made it through the night for him to go to bed by 8:15 with no major issues. 
Saturday morning he slept until 8:00 am and that was wonderful.  He didn't seem interested in doing much so I found tasks around the house for him to help me with thinking that would help.  He helped me sweet the garage floor and dust his room and he vacuumed his and Chad's room. At that point he was tired so he sat the rest of the evening and watched TV.  Saturday night he went to bed again around 8:15.
Sunday morning he was up at 4:00 am.  I got up and got his coffee and started with his breakfast and meds.  At 8:30 he was napping hard in his chair so I suggested he lay on his bed and nap.  He didn't hesitate and I do think he was sleep walking at this point based on how he got on his bed.  He slept until 10:45 am.  I knew he would want something to snack on before we left for Tebo and I to get pedicures so I fixed him a light snack.  He was still a bit foggy I think so I had to remind him to eat.  We left just before noon and he sat in one of the pedicure chairs next to Tebo and napped off and on while we got our treatments.  Once we left there we took him to lunch and he did pretty good.  We got home and all 3 napped in the living room for about 45 minutes and then Tebo and I got started getting ready for the kids to come over for family dinner.  He did decent, but he still seemed off.  We made it through dinner and cleaned up the kitchen and the kids realized he was fading so we got the house quiet and they visited for a few more minutes and they left just before 7:00 so I could get his nightly routine started.  He went to bed at 8:00.
Monday morning he was up and dressed by 4:30 am.  He was very off and agitated for some reason.  After his breakfast he sat in his chair and started napping.  I slipped into my room to take a call and about 45 minutes he was awakened by Dawn calling.  He said nothing that was accurate and was telling her that I was still in the bed and he was by himself.  He was NOT by himself and I had been up.  He didn't even remember he had already had breakfast.  Once he was off the phone with her I found a series about dogs and turned it on so he could rest if he wanted to and put his blanket on him.  I guess we will see how the rest of this day goes. 
Pace was closed today due to President's Day so I am trying to work from home, but feel I need to stay in the kitchen this morning until I see how he is going to do. 
I hate these days, but even more when it lasts for days and nights at a time.  :(

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