One Mom's Journey: Finding Words

You never really think about the day when you will have difficulty finding words to everyday things that you definitely know (or at least at one time you did). If you have lived in a family with Alzheimer's and/or Dementia (or both), you will have a hard time understanding or grasping the concept of watching your loved one not be able to find ordinary words.
For instance, just today, I was driving daddy to Pace of the Ozarks on my way to work and he was trying to tell me about the black Angus cows in the pasture. We grew up with pastures and cows, but today he could not find the word pasture. He called it everything he could possibly think of and none were even close. It took me a bit to figure out what he was referring to and when I finally did he said, well, duh, I knew pasture and then called himself dumb. I said you aren't dumb daddy, we all forget words at times. Sadly this is the norm now. He also cannot always see an object and know the name of it or how it is used. That's really hard to watch when he has known these things your whole life.
It is also scary to think I may walk this same journey one day myself and having my mom, grandmother, and now daddy with this same dreadful disease it is definitely something to cause me pause.

As we continue to navigate this disease and our new normal I am trying to document as much as I can so I don't forget our journey and maybe help someone else that may be just now finding themselves in the same spot.
It is hard and it is not for the faint at heart. Everyday is a new day and you never know if you are getting a Toddler or a Seenager… It's also possible to have both in one day. The trickiest part for me has been finding the balance between caregiver and him still being my father and keeping that respect I need to have for my father and still maintain some type of sanity at home. It's not an easy thing to balance.
There are some days that I get it all wrong and nothing I do is right enough and there are other days when we breeze through the day with laughter and love. I treasure those breezy days and try to forget the wrong days. That's easier said than done, but I do try.
We haven't gotten to the point that he needs physical help bathing, but I do have to lay his clothes out and help him get undressed. I don't mind doing this, it will be the actual bathing that will be hard for me and I know would be hard for him. We struggle at times with his eating and choking, but if I stay close and pay attention we manage just fine. He just doesn't empty his mouth before taking another bite and fills his mouth so full and then talks. This is usually when he chokes. He gets mad at me and pouts when I remind him to slow down and put his fork down until he empties his mouth, but if I don't do this he will choke. I'm going to do my best not to let that happen on my watch if I can at all help it. Yes, I may make him mad, but the bright side of this dreadful disease is he will forget and tomorrow will be a new day and a different day. If I had to find some sunshine in this journey, that would be it.
It would be my hope that no one else had to experience this disease with their loved one, but fact is most likely most will. That's sad, but with technology today I'm afraid this will be more of a reality for our future generations as we don't have to think or remember anything much anymore. That's really scary.
Hopefully time will provide education, training, hope, and maybe even a cure one day, but until then, pray that you do not have to walk this journey and if you do, pray that you have the support of family and friends and even outsiders like I have with Pace of the Ozarks. I'm not sure how I could do this without that and I know it will only get worse.