Personal Struggles

If you know me and if you are someone other than my sister and are not close family, you likely do not know. I've thought about this a very long time as I have never been very comfortable sharing my health issues with others as most are embarrassing, but more than that, I've felt this tug at my heart that there could be others out there having some of the same issues that could either help me understand what might be really going on or someone out there that just knowing someone else is dealing with this make them not feel alone. It's not like I have any type of life or death illness. Instead it is a lifetime maintenance for some and others that just cause me issues or pain that some I can do something about and others I just have to wait for healing or maybe something I will deal with the rest of my life. Some really nice options, huh? If you are in any one or all these situations, you know the frustrations and helplessness. What's worse if you are unfortunate enough to have doctors that aren't taking you seriously or don't seem to care enough to keep searching for answers. I hope that isn't the case for you. That has been the case for me in the past. Currently I do have a great group of doctors. That doesn't mean there are times that my husband and I haven't considered going to the Mayo clinic, but right now we feel pretty confident that the things that can be controlled are being controlled and the others are at least being monitored. So to give you some details, here we go. Here is you disclaimer... If you feel this might be TMI, you are welcome to stop here and excuse yourself. My feelings will not be hurt, trust me. So lets just go back when symptoms (several)began. In high school (years will remain annonomous for obvious reasons)I began having fainting spells that were usually brought on by stomach pain. It's not like it was excruciating as far as pain goes, but it was enough to just cause me to pass out (can you imagine the embarrassment that brings to a girl in high school?). Well, a lot! Also, I only had one monthly period one time and that didn't start until I was in the 9th grade and it was barely spotting and I never had another one for one full year and again, just spotting. I didn't know any better at the time (as I never thought to ask) that I was only to wear a pad during the time I was having an active period, so I just wore it 24/7 365. Needless to say, apparently only spotting once a year (if even once a year) was not normal. Once I started with the fainting and then finally told my daddy about my periods he was quick to ask if I had talked to my bonus mom about this (I lived with them at the time). I said, no sir. He said I think you need to. So, I did. She immediately made me my first appointmnent of many with a gynocologist. I have to give kudos to Dr. John O. Gayden M.D. as he was wonderful with me and determined I had a pretty advanced stage of Endodemetriosis and I had several procedures. I continued to see him throughout my late teens and once I got married. When I was around 18 years of age he explained that it was very unlikely that I could get pregnant. This was before I ever got married, but I had been dating my high school sweetheart since the beginning and honestly was convinced we were going to get married and live happily ever after. Once I got that news and we discussed it several times, it was no time and he ended up "hooking up" with someone else and I was devasted. I thought, well, here I am heartbroken number one and now I am single and what man would want a woman who can't have children. Back then it was a bit different than today, it was likely a deal breaker. I guess in my case, that was true. Anyway, I ended up somehow meeting someone else later and we dated and got married and he didn't seem to mind that I couldn't have children and I thought great. Well, I had issues with my Endodemtriosis and had to have another procedure and he informed me that I had 6 to try and get pregnant and if it didn't happen I would need a complete hysterectomy. At this point I had reserved myself to just get the surgery and be done. I had already been told since I was 15 years old that I would likely never be able to have children so to me that decision was decided a long time ago. Now I was almost 21 and I was resigned to the idea, however, do to my age and the fact that I had never had any children and I was married, I had to have my husband's consent to get the surgery (really?). Well, in a moment you will find the "comedy of this) he said no! He said he wanted to try to have a child. Well, let me stop here and just say that I was very close to my grandmother on my daddy's side and she was a very Godly and a never ceasing praying woman. She always told me that I couldn't go through life without having a child. It just wans't right in her mind for me not to have a child. She was pretty addiment about that fact. So to say the least, she began praying. Wouldn't you know, three months in and I was pregnant. We were living in my grandmother's garage apartment while we waited on our trailer house to be delivered and set up. Oh did I mention my cousin, Mark, was living with us in this 2 room garage apartment at the time and I was working 2 jobs at the time? I wouldn't trade it for anything as I loved Mark with all my heart and my daddy and family were around the corner 2 blocks away and grandmother was just downstairs. Well, to make a long story short, I had lots of complications and we didn't find out the sex during pregnancy and not sure we could have for the mere fact he just didn't grow. I had an ultrasound either every two weeks and sometimes every week. I was in the doctors' office more than I was at home it felt like. Dr. Gayden took excellent care of myself and my baby. He scheduled my C-Section and asked me to pick a date in May that I would like. He said, I want to take this baby early as I do not want you going into labor. He gave me a few dates and one was May 25, 1988 and I said that's the date. May 25th is the date I graduated high school and it was my best friends; (since 9th grade) husband's birthday. The morning of the 25th I got up, showered, straightened up the house and drove myself to the hospital. Dr. Gayden prepared me for a very tiny baby and to understand that we might night be able to take him home right away. Well, apparently this baby would prove a lot of people wrong many times in life starting at birth. Shocked as I could be (for the first time with this baby) it was a boy and he weighed 7 Lbs. 11 oz. and was 21" long. We were all shocked. They immediately put me under and started surgery, but I began to hemmorage too badly so they cut, burned and tied my tubes until I could get back in 6 months and they could perform a complete hysterectomy. Needless to say, I felt better and was super busy with a 6 month old so I put it off until 6 years later things got really bad and it was pre-cancerous and I had no choice but to have the surgery. Best thing I could have ever done. I didn't know how bad I felt so long until I finally felt good with that surgery. Then comes a new issue. I got to where I was having a hard time eating. I never was a great eater. It's like when I would eat a little bit I would hurt so bad and some times the cramping and discomfort would last for days and some times weeks at a time. On top of that I had terrible back pain that started up shortly after that. My new back doctor gave me muscle relaxers to help with spasms thinking that was the main cause and I went on my way. I was on this medication for a couple of years when all of a sudden sitting at my desk at work I began to cramp again, but this one was different. If I stood it hurt like I couldn't breathe. If I sat, well, I really couldn't sit. Then I felt nauseous. I thought it I could get to the bathroom and lay on the cold floor I would feel better. I made it there once, but I couldn't get comfortable and then struggled to get up. Then I was worried I needed to get back to work. I get to my desk and suddenly stood to ask someone to cover me and next thing I know I"m face down on the floor again. Then suddenly they have me in the back and ordering an ambulance and I'm on my way to the ER. Turns out the pain was due to an ulcer that perforated. Due to a salad (that I sadly blamed for my stomach pain) layed across the hole and basically saved my life until they could get me to the hospital. I had emergency surgery and was good as new just now I had to avoid over eating and certain medications. I did pretty good until several years later and I suddenly started having issues eating again. I would eat and start throwing up or have the other issue that me and my sisters just can "Rita". This went on for several years. My daddy gave me grief (even in hihgh school) that I had an easting disorder or that I just wanted to be skinny. Trust me, there would be far easier and less painful ways of doing that I'm sure. That couldn't be further from the truth. Well, I went to multiple doctors and no answers and then my son passed away while serving in Afghansitan. Once any doctor from that news they just blamed it on grief. Do you know it took almost 2 years or more and me on a liquid diet and getting nearly 80 Lbs. before we finally found a family doctor, Jefferey Bearden, MD. in Springdale, AR, (we chose not to mention Chad) who really listened and decided to send me to a Gastroenterologist, Sidney Vinson, MD. Fayetteville, AR, to finally start narrowing down what the issues was. Once he realized something was obstructing my duodenum (this is where all your food passes through and you absorb all your nutrients after multiple procedures, he referred me to a surgeon, Stehpen Wood, MD. This man had only heard of this, but he saved my life. When he got in there he determined this was something I was likely born with. I had a webbing over my duodenum and over the years it had just gotten thicker and only had a dimple in it so no food was passing through and barely the liquids. In short I was starving to death. If it had first not been for my husband who was extremely on top of everything and insistant that someone take me seriously and took such good care of me and finally finding doctors that didn't want to chalk it up to grief (even though these issues were happening well before Chad ever enlisted into the Military) I would not be here right now. As if that wasn't enough, at some point a few years ago I got pneumonia and got treated for it, but the medication actually made 2 ulcers at my surgery spot (that I didn't know I had) start bleeding and again, at work, I stood up thinking if I could get to the bathroom and lay on the cold floor I would feel better, but as soon as I stood, bam, face first to the floor. The poor guys I worked with weren't sure what to do. I think I scared them to death. Anyway, after many blood transfusions and moves to a different hospital and again a very determined husband, I survived again. Fast forward to 2020 at Christmas as we were just finally able to travel due to COVID we go to Key West, FL and while we did our part to wear our masks, FL did not have the same restrictions that we experienced here in AR so needless to say we get home in January and Tebo and I both come down with COVID. For 2 weeks we were pretty miserable. That 3rd week on a Friday night I got up in the night to go to the restroom (just wait, you hit a certain age and you will be peeing during the night too) and like several times prior, my legs just went out from under me like someone took a broom and swept them right from underneath me. I hit the tile floor in the bathroom and landed first on my tailbone and then the back of my head. Tebo said he heard it echo in the bedroom. He jumped up not knowing if he would find me in a pool of blood or what. Well, luckily (I think) there was no blood, but I had a pump knot the size of a softball coming out of the back of my head. He held a bag of frozen peas on the back of my head all night while he said I sobbed. I have no memory of anything for at least the next 4 to 7 days after that. I don't even remember getting out of bed to go to the restroom. Anyway, that Saturday he said I called the after hours doctor's office number and left a message and we walked our land we planned to purchase and had family dinner on Sunday and then Monday morning the doctor called and said I needed to report to the ER. Tia picked me up and Tebo met us there and they did a CT scan where they saw the swelling and bruising on my brain and my broken tailbone. They have changed the protocal for concussions now. Today they want you to sleep as much as you can. Right, completely opposite than we were always told. Tebo brought me home and I literally slept for 4 days and he woke me only to eat and go to the bathroom, but other than that I slept in Chad's room, because it was dark, quiet and cold. That fall took place January 21st in the middle of the night and I am still struggling. I think I could handle the tailbone far better, but this head stuff is wearing me out. I'm still dizzy a lot, feel like I'm in a fog, the headaches are ridiculous some (well most) days, my short term memory is still a big struggle and there are still days that my face gets very numb and the right side feels like it is drawing/pulling down. It's very scary and frustrating. The neurologist says I could be months or up to a year before I start feeling "normal" again. That's just fantastic. So prior to this latest fall in January my primary doctor suspected I could potentially have MS or Neuropathy. There are no other family members on either side in my family that have either of these diagnosis. The neurologist believes that migrains and years of them is what is causing the weakness in my legs and the numbness in my fingers tips and toes. I don't know if anything of this is true. I just know the symptoms I have. I've considered a 2nd opinion with a new neurologist, but trying to get through this concussion first and I'm not completely against going to Mayo Clinic, but would like to take the lesser route first and would also like to get into our retirement home before adding on any other debt to us until we see where we are with all that first before adding more medical bills to us. If you are reading this and have had any issues that sound anything like this I would appreciate any feedback. At the very least if you are a praying person, I would appreciate all the prayers I can get to make a full recovery from this concussion and start feeling back to some normalcy soon. Please and thank you.