In 35 days

In just 35 days you would have turned 32 years old.  I cannot believe this year will mark 10 years (10 YEARS!) since you left this earth.  I cannot explain how terribly sad I feel on the inside to this very day and likely for the rest of my life.  I miss everything about you and saying I have a very broken and un-fixable heart is a true understatement.
There isn't a moment that goes by that I'm not missing you and long to hug you, kiss your forehead, and just talk to you about your day and what is going on.  I miss all of that.  I even miss you just sitting quietly or sleeping in the oddest positions ever.  I miss it all and I know I will never not feel this way.
Yes, I get up each day and do my work and take care of my responsibilities even when I don't want to, but that doesn't mean I'm okay.  I'm not okay and I never will be okay until we are reunited again.
I know you will see BoBo and he will see you before I do and that does make me feel a little jealous for me, but happy for you and BoBo. 
The days seem so long most days, because if I am breathing, I am missing you and feel so sad and broken hearted and long to see you again.  I don't know when that time will come, but there are days (lots of days) that I wish it were sooner than later.  I know there is nothing I can do about the timing, I get that, but I sure wish I had a choice. 


I love you son and I will miss you and grieve for you until the day I see you again.