One Mom's Journey: It's not him, it's the disease. It's not him, it's the disease

I tell myself this daily and will continue to have to remind myself that daddy's behavior and actions are not him, but the result of this horrible disease of Dementia and Alzheimer's. I'm still very new at this full time, but certainly not new to this dreadful disease. My mom passed away with it as well as my grandmother and now living day to day seeing daddy deteriorate right in front of my eyes can be a bit hard on the heart.
What's hard as well is not taking insults and nastiness personally. That's easier said than done. I continue to remind myself that it's not him, it's this disease.
I'm actually fortunate enough to currently have a friend who was a home health physical therapist to watch him during the day. I have avoided using the word "babysitter" from the start, but that is how he refers to her himself now and I guess parts of him little mind still comprehend things, but he loves going to spend the day with her. Her name happens to be Dawn (which is also one of my sister's name) so that part is good so he can remember. She came to visit one evening and she was wonderful with him and they hit it off right away. We started the first week with him going Tuesday through Friday. By Friday I could tell it felt like too much in a week so after talking to my boss we are going to attempt to just do Tuesday through Thursday and see how that goes. However, that being said, I worked from home yesterday (Monday) after his doctor's appointment and it was less that a great day. He was pretty snarky most of the day and even giving him his "sundowners" medication didn't ease up. He stay pretty nasty with me most of the evening as well and was very rude at times to Tebo. Again, I get it is the disease, but when you are looking your father in the face and he acts like someone completely different, that can be hard to take some times.
Again, we are still within the adjusting period for all 3 of us and while Tebo has probably done a much better job of adjusting than I have some days, he also hasn't been with him all day alone yet. He has offered to take some vacation and give me a break so that may change sooner than later, but right now he has been a saving grace as well as my sweet friend, Dawn.
I do hate this disease more than most anything, but there is nothing to do except understand as much as you can about it and remember and remind yourself constantly that it isn't him/her, it is the disease. I might as well have this taped on my forehead these days.
Patience will go a very long way and this may just be the Lord's way of teaching me to have more of them.
We have, well, I definitely have, very long days. I get up around 5:00 am to get completely ready for the day. If I am working from home I do the same thing, but go directly into the office and start working until I hear him moving around in his bedroom. Then I stop and get his coffee and breakfast ready and get all his meds pulled together. We have breakfast together and I clean up and set him up with his favorite show, Heartland, and I get some work done. I take breaks pretty often so he isn't sitting alone and watch his show with him. I fix his lunch and we eat lunch together and then we walk around the block and I set him up with his show again and get some work done. I continue to take breaks to sit with him or walk so he isn't alone until around 4:45 then I start dinner. Days that he wants to I let him help me by chopping something or stirring something for me and I will fill the sink with hot soapy water and let him wash as we go. If he isn't up to doing any of that he watches his show while I get dinner. Once dinner is done we clean the kitchen and if the weather allows we will walk again and depending on the weather we will sit in the hot tub then we start his eye drops and medicine again and I help him to bed around 8:30-9:00 so we can start again the next morning. If I have to be in the office the day starts the same, but after coffee I get his meds and drops and give him a snack and take him to Dawn's for the day. We've leaned by laying clothes out the night before and getting his shower then helps us in the mornings. Once I drop him off at Dawn's I go to the office and work through lunch and leave at 4:000 to pick him up and get home to either start dinner or get him ready for dinner out and we start our evening routine again.
We will get there and things have to get a bit smoother as we adjust and find what works. I know it will be forever changing and there will be great days and there will be some not so great days. I've been lucky so far to have more great days than not so great days and I have so grateful for that for as long as it continues.
Here are a few snapshots of him throughout his days since he moved in Labor Day weekend. I just love this man. I don't like the disease it makes him become at times, but I do love this man. Honestly, to know him is to love him. He is hard not to love and appreciate.