Monday, September 19, 2016


Family/Families can be a complex creature can't they?  It shouldn't have to be, but if you have a family, then you know it can be and at times I guess they all are.

So, I've had family on my mind a lot more than usual lately for many different reasons, but I've become a bit troubled lately when thinking about my own family.

Like most people know, families will have ups and downs and they will disagree and get along.  That's just part of a family and being human.  However, what really bothers me most is when family members hold grudges or have animosity towards other family members or heaven forbid, intentionally hurt a family member.  That to me is probably the most heartbreaking of all the hurts.

If I were in a room with just my siblings I think I would say something like this:

I love each of you.  I am sure at times I have hurt you in some way, but know it was never an intentional hurt, but for any hurt, I want to apologize.  Also, there are times you have hurt me and I would hope it was not intentional, but regardless, I want you to know, I forgive you.  It is my feeling that we need to learn to have an adult relationship with each other showing respect and consideration for each other and understanding.  We need to do this for our parents who are not getting any younger and I know personally with daddy, it hurts his heart in a huge way to know there is strife between his kids.  Now, to show a little respect and consideration for each other should come naturally, but with life and just being human that isn't always the case.  It's almost like knowing it is a sibling gives the right to treat them however you want, because they are family they have to love you.  That is a very wrong approach in my opinion.  We need to do a better job all the way around to be better to each other so our parents don't have to worry what will happen to us all when they are no longer here.  If you owe one of us an apology (and you know if you do) then I would strongly suggest you do that sooner than later.  If you don't, but you just don't make the effort to reach out (I can be guilty of this as well), then start making an effort.  It doesn't have to be all the time, it just needs to be regular enough that we know the big stuff going on with each other.  I will make a promise to begin doing this myself.  If you have forbid me from reaching out to you, then you make it right and I will begin reaching back. 

Life is short.  Unfortunately, our family has learned this more than once how short it truly can be.  Why would we waste our precious time on earth being at odds with each other (especially family).

Oh, and one more thing.  If you don't know my family, we are a blended family.  In my opinion, we are family regardless how we got to be family.  I don't have step siblings any longer.  I have 2 brothers and 4 sisters and then myself (& one sister passed away).  That's how it is.  That's how I think it should be.  We should all want to have relationships with each other and we should all be good to each other.  Again, it's a respect thing.  Blood is not the only definition of family.  Besides, my siblings and I have been part of each others lives for so long now that the lines get blurred between "bonus" and "blood" to me. 

Like I said earlier, I love all my siblings and it would be my hope that we will build on our adult relationships and learn to truly love each other and have a real relationship with each other with no animosity or jealousy or anger.  We should be proud for each others accomplishments and happiness and if we should disagree about something, and we will, I would hope there would be enough respect to hear each other out and try to understand or at the very least, accept the path the other is on and support each other even if we don't agree.  That's what it is all about to me.  It seems so simple and yet an almost impossible task for some.  That makes me sad, but I'm still hopeful that relationships will be repaired and become closer as we learn to just love and respect each other. 

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