Tuesday, May 24, 2016

6th Birthday...

Well, it's really hard to believe this will be the 6th birthday without you.  You would be 28 years old.  That doesn't even seem possible.  You still have those ringlet curls and that sweet little smile to me.  You are still sleeping in those crazy positions that only you could sleep in and then get up and walk.

To say you are missed would be a ridiculous statement.  You are more than missed.  You are longed for.  My heart will never be the same.  Birthdays, holidays, special moments, etc. will never be the same again.

The rest of your family will never be the same and neither will your friends.  You are missed by so many people that it just seems crazy at times.

None miss you more than me, though.  I swear some days it seems like forever and other days it feels like yesterday.  I don't understand that and probably never will.  I just know I have a huge empty spot in my heart and life without you on this earth.

I try to do you proud each and every day.  I'm certain I fall short a lot, but it isn't for a lack of trying.  I promise.

Some days I don't tear up or cry as much as other days, but I don't think there has been a day since December 1, 2010 that I haven't at least had puddles in my eyes.  That will never change.

I would love to see what you would be doing at 28 years old.  Where would you be working, would you have any children, how would we celebrate.  All those things and more run through my head all the time (not just on your birthday or special occasions). 

I will never know those things, but I can find some peace in knowing where you are and the fact that I am guaranteed to see you again one day.  That is not necessarily comforting, but it does offer some peace when I need it most. 

Happy 28th birthday buddy and happy 6th heavenly birthday.  I wish I could visit heaven and give you a huge hug and tell you one more time how much I love you!   Simply put..... YOU SHOULD BE HERE!

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