Frustration Mounting

My frustrations on the build of our house is mounting to an epic level. First our completion date was going to be November. I felt from the start that we would not hit that timing. Then it was moved to December, which is where I felt we would land. Then suddenly it was moved to January. Okay, fine, We will live with that. Then before we even get to January he moved it to we hope to have you wrapped up by end of March. What!? End of March? Then he comes back with, oh January is doable, but I wanted to give worse case scenario. Well, here we are on January 31st and guess what! We still have no paint, no counter tops, no master bath tile, no slider door, no front door, no flooring, no septic tank, no propane tank, no electric or plumbing pulled in the house and missing a window. We locked in a 30 day rate and trying to give notice to the apartments and I can't get an answer from the builder and I sent him a message at 7:45 am today. I'm so over it all that I could scream, but if I verbalize my feelings and frustrations I get shot down and told to stop stressing over it and to just stop letting it get to me. So, I guess this is where I will have to let my frustration and anxiety out so I don't bother anyone else with my own feelings about this process. Just one more thing I will continue to bury down deep inside so not to burden anyone else.

What the heck is my issue lately?

I found myself lately just not liking anyone. I feel aggitated by most people I run into. I don't even know most of these people and they just irritate me or rub me the wrong way. That is just not my personality. I'm super sensitve regardless what is said or by whom. There isn't just one thing, it's everything. I don't feel like I can say anything right. If it's okay for one person to complain or vent, it's not okay for me to do that. Some examples of what I am very well aware is very pety feelings. One, I've been growing more and more frustrated with our builder and the excuses we have been getting regarding the delays of our house. It's not that I/we didn't expect delays. We did. My issue is the lack of communication and then when we do get communication, there are inconsistencies in that communication, but when I vent or try to just voice my opinion or frustrations about it (knowing this is my perception) I feel like my feelings are minimized or dismissed as either overreactions or I need to get over it even if those aren't the exact words being used. That's just adding to the already frustrating feelings I'm experiencing. Also, this apartment living is for the birds, no surprise there, but Sunday night (all night) the upstairs neighbor apparently did not sleep all night. Instead he/they were up all night stomping across the floor and dragging a chair/stool across the floor. Did I mention it was all night long. What does that mean? I got zero rest. I was up and down all night due to this wonder NON-WHITE NOISE sound! So on Monday morning that was supposed to be a Holiday even though we were working from home I was up 5 am so I got up and got ready for work and as I was fixing my breakfast I simply asked Tebo if he heard those yahoos upstairs and the response was, "yes, I heart them. Just let it go Louie, let it go". Well, okay then. I will let it go. So, here is my moto from this point forward and this time I will be sticking to it going forward. I will NOT complain about this apartment or the upstairs neighbors. I will not mention the house or the progress or lack there of! I'm done with any opinion on anything at this point. I will wait and if I feel impatient or frustrated I will vent right here. That's it! Nothing more or less will come out of my mouth unless it is positive and excitement.

When life just keeps throwing curve balls

Over the last nearly 2 years things have been, in the very least, utter chaos. If you know me maybe 20 minutes you will know quite easily that chaos is really not something I navigate very well. We have all lived a very different kind of normal. First COVID hit the country and around the world causing us all to figure out how to navigate all that and find out how to manage working from home (or wherever we might be at the time) and not go to our favorite restaurants for a while and handle our children not going to school or daycare or remote learning and then figuring out how to return to the office our our respective work places and living with mask wearing and vaccines and then boosters and let us not forget those that refuse to get vaccinated. We endured all that on top of not being able to be with our loved ones who were in the hospital for whatever reasons or attend funerals or visit those in nursing homes just to find in 2022 that we have a new variant that is spreading like wild fire and now we are facing some of these same issues all over again. It's crazy. You should try (and many are) building a house and especially your retirement home, while living in an apartment for the first time in decades and having delay after delay with the build and navigating the continue chaos of COVID, work, and the anxious arrival of our first grandson. It is beginning to be more than this girl can take on top of the stress of work and not feeling 100% physically. My patience is running thin to say the very least. My understanding is truly non existant and nice is wearing off quickly. We are meeting our builder this afternoon at 4:00 at the house to walk through and discuss trim and it is my hope and prayer (for him) that he is on track and we see progress has been made yesterday and today and he has a solid plan that he is capable of sticking to and delivering on next week or he may just truly feel the wrath of my impatience and frustration come crashing down on him. During this pandemic we have experienced great saddness and some extreme blessings at the same time. First we had the blessing of celebrating the marriage of Tia and Drew. She waited so long to find the perfect husband and she did. He just fits right in with our family and we love him so much.. Then we sadly lost our daddy. We worked so hard to move him in with us and after doing so we only had 9 short months with him before he was taken from us. I am so grateful for those 9 months, but so heartbroken that he was taken so soon. Then we had the blessing of welcoming Cohen Wade, our grand nephew (I know I probably made that word up, but I really don't care). He is perfect and I couldn't love him more. Then we had the saddness of losing our granddaughter, Norah (Tia & Drew's first baby). It was heartbreaking, but we were so inspired in how they handled the loss and drew closer together during a very difficult time. Then 6 months later we were blessed with the news that they were going to be welcoming our first grandson, Luke Henry in March. We honestly cannot wait. We are building our retirement home across the street from them and while we certainly expected to be in our house well before he made his arrival, we will be so glad to be so close to enjoy the bonding and relationship with Luke and the kids that we feel we miss with the others. This house just cannot get completed quickly enough for us. Prayers for that to happen and for life to find a normal level whatever that may be these days. Shewwww....