Twelve Years

This year marked the twelth Easter without you on this earth. That is half of your lifetime. That seems so hard to fatham, but it's true. I always feel a sadness and emptiness in my heart missing you, but certain times of the year the emptiness rings louder than others. I know that sounds a little crazy, but it's the best way I know how to describe it. It was quiet for the most part for us this Easter. I stayed home the entire day (my choice) and tried to reorganize your room/office by moving things and stacking things around towards the wall and cleaned house. Then aunt Stacy, uncle Leckey, Peanut, Scooter and Peanut's new boyfriend, Zane, came over to visit and then Kristin Allen came over to have dinner with us. After everyone left Tebo and I sat in living room in the quiet and didn't even really watch TV, just sat and were quiet. I then took my shower so it wouldn't wear me out today and we went to bed. It was uneventful and I think that's kind of what I needed this year for sure. Between not feeling well and just getting in the house, it's just been a lot. Oh, Chad, if heaven had visiting hours... I would have spent the entire day with you, Jessica, BoBo and Granny. I would have had Grandmother come over and just visit with us too and I would have to invite Granddaddy, because he would have already been by BoBo's side. I miss you son. More than my little words could ever describe. I do have one little request. Poor little Cohen is having such a tough time with his little ears lately and if he doesn't get some relief they are going to have to put tubes in his ears. Would you mind just asking Jesus to touch his little ears and heal them so he won't have to have surgery, but if surgery is in his plans for Cohen, please ask him to keep his arms around him and Jorden. Jorden has done an amazing job with him, but she is tired and has had to miss a lot of work and that is stressful in it's own right. I know if you were here you would be right there to hlep her, but you will be a huge help by asking him personally to reach down and touch this precious little human. I love you son and just know you are missed and loved so much. Love, momma bear.