Oh my gosh!!!! This has been a challenging couple of weeks and this past week and weekend were no exception. Daddy has been in a mood. I'm not sure if it's a mood or just the agitation and getting used to the new medication, but whatever it is, it has pushed me to almost a breaking point. I'm worn out, hurt, and mad all at the same time. It's hard to manage through his moods and work and continue to keep him happy and comfortable. NO! It is not to the point that he has to go into a nursing home or anything like that, it's just wearing on my mental and emotional state as well as my physical state. I am sure it's wearing on Tebo as well, but he does a great job of hiding that from me most of the time.
Friday was a bad day at Pace (first one since starting). He couldn't find anything nice to say about anything. Thinking I could improve his mood I got him home as quickly as I could and fixed him peanut butter crackers for a snack and gave him his "vitamin". Tebo offered to bring dinner home so we didn't have to go out so that worked out well. He was still very much a smart ass towards me and critical of Tebo's size/weight, but we made it through the night for him to go to bed by 8:15 with no major issues.
Saturday morning he slept until 8:00 am and that was wonderful. He didn't seem interested in doing much so I found tasks around the house for him to help me with thinking that would help. He helped me sweet the garage floor and dust his room and he vacuumed his and Chad's room. At that point he was tired so he sat the rest of the evening and watched TV. Saturday night he went to bed again around 8:15.
Sunday morning he was up at 4:00 am. I got up and got his coffee and started with his breakfast and meds. At 8:30 he was napping hard in his chair so I suggested he lay on his bed and nap. He didn't hesitate and I do think he was sleep walking at this point based on how he got on his bed. He slept until 10:45 am. I knew he would want something to snack on before we left for Tebo and I to get pedicures so I fixed him a light snack. He was still a bit foggy I think so I had to remind him to eat. We left just before noon and he sat in one of the pedicure chairs next to Tebo and napped off and on while we got our treatments. Once we left there we took him to lunch and he did pretty good. We got home and all 3 napped in the living room for about 45 minutes and then Tebo and I got started getting ready for the kids to come over for family dinner. He did decent, but he still seemed off. We made it through dinner and cleaned up the kitchen and the kids realized he was fading so we got the house quiet and they visited for a few more minutes and they left just before 7:00 so I could get his nightly routine started. He went to bed at 8:00.
Monday morning he was up and dressed by 4:30 am. He was very off and agitated for some reason. After his breakfast he sat in his chair and started napping. I slipped into my room to take a call and about 45 minutes he was awakened by Dawn calling. He said nothing that was accurate and was telling her that I was still in the bed and he was by himself. He was NOT by himself and I had been up. He didn't even remember he had already had breakfast. Once he was off the phone with her I found a series about dogs and turned it on so he could rest if he wanted to and put his blanket on him. I guess we will see how the rest of this day goes.
Pace was closed today due to President's Day so I am trying to work from home, but feel I need to stay in the kitchen this morning until I see how he is going to do.
I hate these days, but even more when it lasts for days and nights at a time. :(
Monday, February 17, 2020
Tuesday, February 11, 2020
Finding Words
You never really think about the day when you will have difficulty finding words to everyday things that you definitely know (or at least at one time you did). If you have lived in a family with Alzheimer's and/or Dementia (or both), you will have a hard time understanding or grasping the concept of watching your loved one not be able to find ordinary words.
For instance, just today, I was driving daddy to Pace of the Ozarks on my way to work and he was trying to tell me about the black Angus cows in the pasture. We grew up with pastures and cows, but today he could not find the word pasture. He called it everything he could possibly think of and none were even close. It took me a bit to figure out what he was referring to and when I finally did he said, well, duh, I knew pasture and then called himself dumb. I said you aren't dumb daddy, we all forget words at times. Sadly this is the norm now. He also cannot always see an object and know the name of it or how it is used. That's really hard to watch when he has known these things your whole life.
It is also scary to think I may walk this same journey one day myself and having my mom, grandmother, and now daddy with this same dreadful disease it is definitely something to cause me pause.
As we continue to navigate this disease and our new normal I am trying to document as much as I can so I don't forget our journey and maybe help someone else that may be just now finding themselves in the same spot.
It is hard and it is not for the faint at heart. Everyday is a new day and you never know if you are getting a Toddler or a Seenager… It's also possible to have both in one day. The trickiest part for me has been finding the balance between caregiver and him still being my father and keeping that respect I need to have for my father and still maintain some type of sanity at home. It's not an easy thing to balance.
There are some days that I get it all wrong and nothing I do is right enough and there are other days when we breeze through the day with laughter and love. I treasure those breezy days and try to forget the wrong days. That's easier said than done, but I do try.
We haven't gotten to the point that he needs physical help bathing, but I do have to lay his clothes out and help him get undressed. I don't mind doing this, it will be the actual bathing that will be hard for me and I know would be hard for him. We struggle at times with his eating and choking, but if I stay close and pay attention we manage just fine. He just doesn't empty his mouth before taking another bite and fills his mouth so full and then talks. This is usually when he chokes. He gets mad at me and pouts when I remind him to slow down and put his fork down until he empties his mouth, but if I don't do this he will choke. I'm going to do my best not to let that happen on my watch if I can at all help it. Yes, I may make him mad, but the bright side of this dreadful disease is he will forget and tomorrow will be a new day and a different day. If I had to find some sunshine in this journey, that would be it.
It would be my hope that no one else had to experience this disease with their loved one, but fact is most likely most will. That's sad, but with technology today I'm afraid this will be more of a reality for our future generations as we don't have to think or remember anything much anymore. That's really scary.
Hopefully time will provide education, training, hope, and maybe even a cure one day, but until then, pray that you do not have to walk this journey and if you do, pray that you have the support of family and friends and even outsiders like I have with Pace of the Ozarks. I'm not sure how I could do this without that and I know it will only get worse.
For instance, just today, I was driving daddy to Pace of the Ozarks on my way to work and he was trying to tell me about the black Angus cows in the pasture. We grew up with pastures and cows, but today he could not find the word pasture. He called it everything he could possibly think of and none were even close. It took me a bit to figure out what he was referring to and when I finally did he said, well, duh, I knew pasture and then called himself dumb. I said you aren't dumb daddy, we all forget words at times. Sadly this is the norm now. He also cannot always see an object and know the name of it or how it is used. That's really hard to watch when he has known these things your whole life.
It is also scary to think I may walk this same journey one day myself and having my mom, grandmother, and now daddy with this same dreadful disease it is definitely something to cause me pause.
As we continue to navigate this disease and our new normal I am trying to document as much as I can so I don't forget our journey and maybe help someone else that may be just now finding themselves in the same spot.
It is hard and it is not for the faint at heart. Everyday is a new day and you never know if you are getting a Toddler or a Seenager… It's also possible to have both in one day. The trickiest part for me has been finding the balance between caregiver and him still being my father and keeping that respect I need to have for my father and still maintain some type of sanity at home. It's not an easy thing to balance.
There are some days that I get it all wrong and nothing I do is right enough and there are other days when we breeze through the day with laughter and love. I treasure those breezy days and try to forget the wrong days. That's easier said than done, but I do try.
We haven't gotten to the point that he needs physical help bathing, but I do have to lay his clothes out and help him get undressed. I don't mind doing this, it will be the actual bathing that will be hard for me and I know would be hard for him. We struggle at times with his eating and choking, but if I stay close and pay attention we manage just fine. He just doesn't empty his mouth before taking another bite and fills his mouth so full and then talks. This is usually when he chokes. He gets mad at me and pouts when I remind him to slow down and put his fork down until he empties his mouth, but if I don't do this he will choke. I'm going to do my best not to let that happen on my watch if I can at all help it. Yes, I may make him mad, but the bright side of this dreadful disease is he will forget and tomorrow will be a new day and a different day. If I had to find some sunshine in this journey, that would be it.
It would be my hope that no one else had to experience this disease with their loved one, but fact is most likely most will. That's sad, but with technology today I'm afraid this will be more of a reality for our future generations as we don't have to think or remember anything much anymore. That's really scary.
Hopefully time will provide education, training, hope, and maybe even a cure one day, but until then, pray that you do not have to walk this journey and if you do, pray that you have the support of family and friends and even outsiders like I have with Pace of the Ozarks. I'm not sure how I could do this without that and I know it will only get worse.
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| After his open heart surgery |
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| Showing out as usual |
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| Those legs though |
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| Strutting his stuff |
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| Working out |
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| Him and that holster LOL |
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| Working out his arms |
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| That hat... |
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| So handsome |
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| Always smiling (well, most of the time) |
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| Texting because Stacy and I were. LOL |
Friday, February 7, 2020
Sadness
Sadness comes in many forms and many things can make us sad. Our family is continuing to experience sadness in many ways. Tebo and I have lost all our moms in 1 1/2 years time. We are watching another sister battle breast cancer and she learned last week that she will still have to undergo another unexpected surgery to remove the remaining lymph nodes on her left side (the side that was unexpected to actually have cancer, just to learn after her pathology showed positive). We personally have three families that are falling apart and there is nothing we can do to help, but listen and be there for them. We, Tebo and I, are experiencing challenges at home each day as we navigate this terrible Alzheimer's & Dementia disease with daddy. Some days are a breeze and other days are a true challenge, but the most tiring part is the constant change and not being prepared for each episode each day.
While navigating through all the family stuff we still have to carry on with our full time jobs and currently this week and next week my work world has blown up (again) with data changes so we are basically having to start over and I have limited time in the office which is making this task very difficult. However, I am fortunately to have a job and right now we are not prepared for me to stay home so that is a blessing, although very tiring and challenging as it feels as though I am working two full time jobs between the office and daddy. I feel the tiredness and sadness throughout my entire body.
I am sad for my sister and not being able to be there for her physically, I am sad to watch daddy decline with this terrible disease and knowing there is really nothing I can do for him. I am sad I can't stay home and focus on him and my husband and have the flexibility to go to my sister and be with her when she needs it most. I'm sad that I can't spend more time with my youngest sister and her kids. I just miss being with my family members more regularly. I'm sad that I can't see my son and kiss his forehead and hug him tight. I am also sad that I feel I am letting my husband down by not being able to give him my undivided attention.
I am, however, happy and blessed to be able to care for daddy and that I have a husband that is so supportive and strong when I cannot be. I'm happy that my sister has such a supportive and strong husband and a strong group of friends and a dedicated daughter that are there for her. I'm very happy that our youngest sister had the flexibility to go be with her while she went through surgery and days after as she has already gone through her battle with breast cancer being diagnosed February 8, 2012. She is now 8 years cancer free and that is a huge blessing I know my other sister will celebrate that milestone as well. She just has to walk this journey and keep fighting and she will get there.
I am blessed that we have such a strong family and support system when we need it the most. It's okay to feel sadness, you just can't stay there. I remind myself everyday and some days multiple times a day as it would be super easy to just stay in a dark place and disappear, but that is no good for anyone so I keep going each day and do the best I can. Some days I do decent and other days I fail miserably, but I do keep trying each day.
For my sister, Paige, fighting breast cancer right now, I pray the Lord keeps you strong and gives you peace and comfort in knowing you've got this with his help and you will be OKAY. For my daddy I pray the Lord has mercy on you and doesn't allow you to struggle too long with this disease and that you continue to keep your wonderful personality (minus "Walter") and love of life. For my husband (who I know never reads these), I pray that you reap blessings beyond measure for all you do for me and my family and for being so willing to open our home and disrupt our lives to care for daddy. I pray that you don't have too much sadness over losing your mom and brother and have peace and find comfort in knowing they are in heaven with Chad and Billy. For the rest of my family I pray you are healthy and happy and we are done with cancer diagnoses for a long time to come if not forever and that we are all spared from this dreadful disease known as Alzheimer's and Dementia.
While navigating through all the family stuff we still have to carry on with our full time jobs and currently this week and next week my work world has blown up (again) with data changes so we are basically having to start over and I have limited time in the office which is making this task very difficult. However, I am fortunately to have a job and right now we are not prepared for me to stay home so that is a blessing, although very tiring and challenging as it feels as though I am working two full time jobs between the office and daddy. I feel the tiredness and sadness throughout my entire body.
I am sad for my sister and not being able to be there for her physically, I am sad to watch daddy decline with this terrible disease and knowing there is really nothing I can do for him. I am sad I can't stay home and focus on him and my husband and have the flexibility to go to my sister and be with her when she needs it most. I'm sad that I can't spend more time with my youngest sister and her kids. I just miss being with my family members more regularly. I'm sad that I can't see my son and kiss his forehead and hug him tight. I am also sad that I feel I am letting my husband down by not being able to give him my undivided attention.
I am, however, happy and blessed to be able to care for daddy and that I have a husband that is so supportive and strong when I cannot be. I'm happy that my sister has such a supportive and strong husband and a strong group of friends and a dedicated daughter that are there for her. I'm very happy that our youngest sister had the flexibility to go be with her while she went through surgery and days after as she has already gone through her battle with breast cancer being diagnosed February 8, 2012. She is now 8 years cancer free and that is a huge blessing I know my other sister will celebrate that milestone as well. She just has to walk this journey and keep fighting and she will get there.
I am blessed that we have such a strong family and support system when we need it the most. It's okay to feel sadness, you just can't stay there. I remind myself everyday and some days multiple times a day as it would be super easy to just stay in a dark place and disappear, but that is no good for anyone so I keep going each day and do the best I can. Some days I do decent and other days I fail miserably, but I do keep trying each day.
For my sister, Paige, fighting breast cancer right now, I pray the Lord keeps you strong and gives you peace and comfort in knowing you've got this with his help and you will be OKAY. For my daddy I pray the Lord has mercy on you and doesn't allow you to struggle too long with this disease and that you continue to keep your wonderful personality (minus "Walter") and love of life. For my husband (who I know never reads these), I pray that you reap blessings beyond measure for all you do for me and my family and for being so willing to open our home and disrupt our lives to care for daddy. I pray that you don't have too much sadness over losing your mom and brother and have peace and find comfort in knowing they are in heaven with Chad and Billy. For the rest of my family I pray you are healthy and happy and we are done with cancer diagnoses for a long time to come if not forever and that we are all spared from this dreadful disease known as Alzheimer's and Dementia.
Monday, February 3, 2020
Bad moments
With Alzheimer's there are good moments and there are bad moments. Last night, Feb. 2, 2020, Super Bowl Sunday we had one of the bad moments. Daddy had been really good all day. He helped Tebo clean up the patio, filled the bird feeders, and took the trash out for him. He seemed to enjoy all of that. We had an early dinner and that went well, but suddenly after dinner and I got the kitchen cleaned up I simply said, daddy, it's 71 degrees outside, it might be nice to get some fresh air and sit on the patio with us. Well, who knew that would set him off, but it did. He said you keep on and I will knock your feet right out from under you! I said, Daddy, don't be an ass (yes, I did say that as a reaction that now I wish I hadn't done). He said I'm just saying. Well, Tebo heard enough to know something was wrong and I just told him (in front of daddy) that he has to stop threatening me because it's not right. Daddy said, I figured that out. I looked at daddy and just said, not cool, not cool daddy. He said I know.
I dropped it at that point and said nothing more and acted and treated him as normal. I helped him get his shower and sat inside with him after his shower so he wouldn't be alone. Once he got his meds and drops I told him his bed was ready whenever he was and of course he was ready. That was fine, because honestly I was kind of ready myself for him to go to bed. I helped him to bed and tucked him in like every other night and he said, I'm sorry I was a butt-head tonight. I said that's ok, sometimes you have bad evenings or moments. I said I love you and I will see you in the morning. He said it back and that was that.
He got up this morning and was very sweet and hugged me first thing. I got his breakfast, medicine, and drops done and off we went to Pace.
Tonight could be interesting as I have to get my hair cut after picking him up, but I have packed him a snack, his "vitamins", and bottled water and I made the appointment just for a trim so we wouldn't have to be there long and then off to the house we will go.
I asked Tebo to pick up sandwiches or something on the way home so he won't have to wait or get back out tonight. Hopefully that will help his evening go better than expected. Fingers crossed.
I dropped it at that point and said nothing more and acted and treated him as normal. I helped him get his shower and sat inside with him after his shower so he wouldn't be alone. Once he got his meds and drops I told him his bed was ready whenever he was and of course he was ready. That was fine, because honestly I was kind of ready myself for him to go to bed. I helped him to bed and tucked him in like every other night and he said, I'm sorry I was a butt-head tonight. I said that's ok, sometimes you have bad evenings or moments. I said I love you and I will see you in the morning. He said it back and that was that.
He got up this morning and was very sweet and hugged me first thing. I got his breakfast, medicine, and drops done and off we went to Pace.
Tonight could be interesting as I have to get my hair cut after picking him up, but I have packed him a snack, his "vitamins", and bottled water and I made the appointment just for a trim so we wouldn't have to be there long and then off to the house we will go.
I asked Tebo to pick up sandwiches or something on the way home so he won't have to wait or get back out tonight. Hopefully that will help his evening go better than expected. Fingers crossed.
Wednesday, January 29, 2020
Feeling a little more sad today
Yes, I am sad every day, I just do a pretty good job (I think) of hiding that from most people. However, today I feel a little more sad than normal. It hasn't helped with the tragedy of the helicopter holding 9 people, including Kobe Bryant and his 13 year old daughter and other teenagers and parents and a coach who had a family. It's tragic and honestly any time I know that a parent has lost a child regardless how, my heart breaks for them even more. Then we had a military aircraft that crashed and killed some of our finest American troops. Again, my heart goes right out to the families of these brave men/women.
It just reopens my broken heart that I worked desperately every day to keep tucked down deep so others don't see it (best I can), but moments like what has taken place this week has made it very difficult.
Will I continue to carry on, of course. I don't really have another choice now do I? It just makes it harder to keep all these emotions tucked way down so no one else has to see it or wonder what to say or do to make it better. No one can make it better. That is not a slam towards anyone, especially my husband and family, but there truly is nothing anyone can do to make me feel better.
I hate this feeling, but I hate more the fact that my son is no longer on this earth. He didn't deserve to die at 22 years old, but he did sign up to serve our country and protect our freedoms knowing this was a true possibility for him, yet he did any way and for that I am proud. Yes, we supported him 100% from the moment he signed his papers, but that doesn't make my sadness any less.
If I could have taken his place I would have done it without hesitation and if I could give up my life and have him return to live the life he lost, again, I would do it without hesitation. The only thing I would ask would be to see him and hug his neck and kiss his forehead and tell him how proud I am of everything he has ever done on my way up.
I know this is impossible and will never happen and I will never see him again until I enter the gates of heaven. I won't lie, I pray daily that the Lord finds a reason to bring me home to be reunited with him and my other loved ones that are already there, but I know he isn't going to just answer that question. All I can do is keep putting my feet on the floor every morning and taking that stupid breath until the day the Lord says my work on this earth are done.
I've said before, I do not know how I am still living and my heart continues to beat as broken as it is. The pain of losing a child is the worse pain a person will ever experience. These parents this week that have lost their child and some their spouse right along with that child have my deepest sincere condolences as I know that without my spouse helping me these last 9 years I truly do not believe I would be here today. I can't imagine having had to face this horrific loss without my husband so for these spouses that also lost a child, I can't even imagine how hard this is and will be for them.
It has definitely been a heartbreaking week around the world and for me and I'm sure other parents that have lost a child, this just brings everything right back to the surface and feels just as raw as day one.
Dear Lord, wrap your arms around these families that have lost their children and spouses and encamp your angels around them and give them a source of peace and hope as they attempt to walk this journey that they truly have no clue how to yet. Keep them close and protect them from people who might try to make something ugly out of this tragedy. Allow those around them that love them to have the chance to step up and lend a hand or just a shoulder when they need it most.
I hate what this world has come to with the division and constant violence and reckless regard for one another. Lord, please reunite this world again and bring peace to our nation as a hold.
Lord, also, hug my son today and tell him his momma bear loves him and that I am so proud of him and I will see him as soon as you are ready for me to see him. Until then, Lord, help me keep on keeping on the best I can with very little heart I have left and help me to do good towards others even when I want to crawl into a hole. Thank you Lord.
It just reopens my broken heart that I worked desperately every day to keep tucked down deep so others don't see it (best I can), but moments like what has taken place this week has made it very difficult.
Will I continue to carry on, of course. I don't really have another choice now do I? It just makes it harder to keep all these emotions tucked way down so no one else has to see it or wonder what to say or do to make it better. No one can make it better. That is not a slam towards anyone, especially my husband and family, but there truly is nothing anyone can do to make me feel better.
I hate this feeling, but I hate more the fact that my son is no longer on this earth. He didn't deserve to die at 22 years old, but he did sign up to serve our country and protect our freedoms knowing this was a true possibility for him, yet he did any way and for that I am proud. Yes, we supported him 100% from the moment he signed his papers, but that doesn't make my sadness any less.
If I could have taken his place I would have done it without hesitation and if I could give up my life and have him return to live the life he lost, again, I would do it without hesitation. The only thing I would ask would be to see him and hug his neck and kiss his forehead and tell him how proud I am of everything he has ever done on my way up.
I know this is impossible and will never happen and I will never see him again until I enter the gates of heaven. I won't lie, I pray daily that the Lord finds a reason to bring me home to be reunited with him and my other loved ones that are already there, but I know he isn't going to just answer that question. All I can do is keep putting my feet on the floor every morning and taking that stupid breath until the day the Lord says my work on this earth are done.
I've said before, I do not know how I am still living and my heart continues to beat as broken as it is. The pain of losing a child is the worse pain a person will ever experience. These parents this week that have lost their child and some their spouse right along with that child have my deepest sincere condolences as I know that without my spouse helping me these last 9 years I truly do not believe I would be here today. I can't imagine having had to face this horrific loss without my husband so for these spouses that also lost a child, I can't even imagine how hard this is and will be for them.
It has definitely been a heartbreaking week around the world and for me and I'm sure other parents that have lost a child, this just brings everything right back to the surface and feels just as raw as day one.
Dear Lord, wrap your arms around these families that have lost their children and spouses and encamp your angels around them and give them a source of peace and hope as they attempt to walk this journey that they truly have no clue how to yet. Keep them close and protect them from people who might try to make something ugly out of this tragedy. Allow those around them that love them to have the chance to step up and lend a hand or just a shoulder when they need it most.
I hate what this world has come to with the division and constant violence and reckless regard for one another. Lord, please reunite this world again and bring peace to our nation as a hold.
Lord, also, hug my son today and tell him his momma bear loves him and that I am so proud of him and I will see him as soon as you are ready for me to see him. Until then, Lord, help me keep on keeping on the best I can with very little heart I have left and help me to do good towards others even when I want to crawl into a hole. Thank you Lord.
Monday, January 27, 2020
The lighter side
Alzheimer's and Dementia is no laughing matter and it is a terrible disease to live and die by. However, we need to find some laughter when you can. Fortunately for us (I think), daddy is a social butterfly which has turned out to be a great benefit for him at Pace of the Ozark where he goes during the day while I work.
He has always been a ladies' man and that apparently has not changed. He has Miss Frances who is the cutest little 84 year old lady you will meet. She never wears her teeth and will tell him goodbye in Spanish most days. LOL! Daddy has no clue what she is saying every time so I tell him, every time.
There is Miss Opal who believes he needs to spread himself around the group more, because he is spending far too much time with Miss Emma (whose name he can never remember). Miss Emma is definitely smitten with him. She already been in trouble for holding his hand and he was willing to keep breaking the rule until I said that's not the right thing to do if they have a rule about it. LOL!
Miss Emma had her son put her number in daddy's phone and put daddy' number in her phone so now on the weekend either she will call or he will call her or both.
Funny part of that was this past weekend. He called her Friday as soon as we got home to make sure she still wasn't upset about getting in trouble for hand holding. Then he called her again on Saturday. Sunday came around and she called him twice and he refused to answer the call. I have no idea why, because we have said nothing about him talking to her or anyone else on the phone. I guess he just wasn't in the mood.
Here is a "typical" workday for us and our schedule...
I wake up around 5:15-5:30 am and get completely ready for work so that I can be in the kitchen/living room when he comes in. He can get up between 6:00 to 7:00 ish (or before) and when I know he is close to coming out of his room I start his coffee and breakfast and get his medications ready and set it all up on the kitchen island at his spot he eats at when we aren't at the dining table. While he is eating I'm cleaning up the kitchen if anything and logging into my work computer to start my day. Once he has completed his breakfast I have him come sit down so I can do his eye drops. I make sure his phone is with him and on because one of my sisters typically calls him around 7:30ish. While he is watching the news I move the car to the big side so he can get in easier and get his bag and my stuff in the car. He is usually talking to my sister while I get him to the car and turn out all the lights and then I put the seat belt on him and we are off to Pace. Sometimes he refers to it as work and others he will say Pace. Now the one sister at times will refer to it as Daddy Daycare and that does not make me happy. I constantly correct him when he says that, because I don't want it stuck in his head that I am dropping him at a daycare. Ugh.
Anyway, I walk him in and hand him his eye glasses and I put his sunglasses in is TN bag which they will then put in his locker. I leave and head to work. At 3:15 in the afternoon I leave the office and go to Pace to pick him up. I have his "vitamins" in my lunchbox for him and water and sometimes a snack if we have a stop to make before coming home. If we are coming straight to the house I give him his snack once we get in the house. This will hold him over until dinner. We turn on Ellen and watch until the local news comes on and he naps (although he swears he doesn't) off and on until Tebo gets home. Once Tebo is home we do dinner and start daddy's shower and lay his clothes out for the next day and attempt to keep him up until at least 8:00 PM. Some nights that works and other nights it does not, but he is usually ready to start heading to bed around 6:30 every night. Yikes!
When we can make it until 8:00 I go in at 7:00 and turn on his mattress warmer and that way it is nice and toasty when he crawls into bed.
We start that all over every morning Monday through Friday. I have his stop/go light on each night and some mornings he abides by it and others he does not. You just never know when it will work and when it won't and there is no rhyme or reason for his schedule when he goes to bed or wakes up. He is all over the chart with that. It truly is like having a toddler in the house again at times and other times it is like a "Seenager" LOL!
All in all I am thankful he is so social and that Pace is working out so well. He loves working out each day and today he had me get his other blue shirt ready for tomorrow, because he got so many compliments on the blue shirt today since it pulls his blue eyes out. He is out of control. :D
Got to take advantage any time you get a ray of sunshine when you can. I choose this today.
He has always been a ladies' man and that apparently has not changed. He has Miss Frances who is the cutest little 84 year old lady you will meet. She never wears her teeth and will tell him goodbye in Spanish most days. LOL! Daddy has no clue what she is saying every time so I tell him, every time.
There is Miss Opal who believes he needs to spread himself around the group more, because he is spending far too much time with Miss Emma (whose name he can never remember). Miss Emma is definitely smitten with him. She already been in trouble for holding his hand and he was willing to keep breaking the rule until I said that's not the right thing to do if they have a rule about it. LOL!
Miss Emma had her son put her number in daddy's phone and put daddy' number in her phone so now on the weekend either she will call or he will call her or both.
Funny part of that was this past weekend. He called her Friday as soon as we got home to make sure she still wasn't upset about getting in trouble for hand holding. Then he called her again on Saturday. Sunday came around and she called him twice and he refused to answer the call. I have no idea why, because we have said nothing about him talking to her or anyone else on the phone. I guess he just wasn't in the mood.
Here is a "typical" workday for us and our schedule...
I wake up around 5:15-5:30 am and get completely ready for work so that I can be in the kitchen/living room when he comes in. He can get up between 6:00 to 7:00 ish (or before) and when I know he is close to coming out of his room I start his coffee and breakfast and get his medications ready and set it all up on the kitchen island at his spot he eats at when we aren't at the dining table. While he is eating I'm cleaning up the kitchen if anything and logging into my work computer to start my day. Once he has completed his breakfast I have him come sit down so I can do his eye drops. I make sure his phone is with him and on because one of my sisters typically calls him around 7:30ish. While he is watching the news I move the car to the big side so he can get in easier and get his bag and my stuff in the car. He is usually talking to my sister while I get him to the car and turn out all the lights and then I put the seat belt on him and we are off to Pace. Sometimes he refers to it as work and others he will say Pace. Now the one sister at times will refer to it as Daddy Daycare and that does not make me happy. I constantly correct him when he says that, because I don't want it stuck in his head that I am dropping him at a daycare. Ugh.
Anyway, I walk him in and hand him his eye glasses and I put his sunglasses in is TN bag which they will then put in his locker. I leave and head to work. At 3:15 in the afternoon I leave the office and go to Pace to pick him up. I have his "vitamins" in my lunchbox for him and water and sometimes a snack if we have a stop to make before coming home. If we are coming straight to the house I give him his snack once we get in the house. This will hold him over until dinner. We turn on Ellen and watch until the local news comes on and he naps (although he swears he doesn't) off and on until Tebo gets home. Once Tebo is home we do dinner and start daddy's shower and lay his clothes out for the next day and attempt to keep him up until at least 8:00 PM. Some nights that works and other nights it does not, but he is usually ready to start heading to bed around 6:30 every night. Yikes!
When we can make it until 8:00 I go in at 7:00 and turn on his mattress warmer and that way it is nice and toasty when he crawls into bed.
We start that all over every morning Monday through Friday. I have his stop/go light on each night and some mornings he abides by it and others he does not. You just never know when it will work and when it won't and there is no rhyme or reason for his schedule when he goes to bed or wakes up. He is all over the chart with that. It truly is like having a toddler in the house again at times and other times it is like a "Seenager" LOL!
All in all I am thankful he is so social and that Pace is working out so well. He loves working out each day and today he had me get his other blue shirt ready for tomorrow, because he got so many compliments on the blue shirt today since it pulls his blue eyes out. He is out of control. :D
Got to take advantage any time you get a ray of sunshine when you can. I choose this today.
Sunday, January 26, 2020
OMG Becky! I’ve always heard that the older people get the less of a filter they have. Well, my father pretty much takes the case with this and honestly I’m finding it harder and harder to take without saying something to him. The only problem with me saying something to him is the fact that he has Dementia and Alzheimer’s so I would just have to repeat it every day and likely multiple times every day.
His biggest thing is people and them being over weight. It’s not like he is super tiny. He may not be “over weight” but he could stand to move his weight around, but he is rude and relentless with it. It’s been especially hard lately because he constantly says something about Tebo’s weight and size and sometimes it’s right in front of him.
Today I had heard enough and while folding laundry he made a comment that the shirt I had must be TEBO’s because it would swallow him up. I said daddy would you please stop talking about his size and weight. I said he is 6’ tall and solid muscle. Yes, could he drop some weight, yes, but who couldn’t (my father included). Of course in daddy fashion he tries to say he was joking and didn’t mean anything by it. Well, STOP FREAKING DOING IT! Now I know with this horrible disease it will only get worse and not better but I had to vent to get it off my chest before I scream or say something to him I will regret.
Then, if that wasn’t enough we are watching the live for the Grammy countdown and of course artist dress all kind of ways and from every race and sizes. Well you guessed it, he has said something negative or derogatory about them all. I was ready to change the subject and he dozed off and as soon as he woke again it’s like he never missed a beat and started right back at it. UGH!
Dear Lord, grant me the patience to look past this and never disrespect my daddy.
His biggest thing is people and them being over weight. It’s not like he is super tiny. He may not be “over weight” but he could stand to move his weight around, but he is rude and relentless with it. It’s been especially hard lately because he constantly says something about Tebo’s weight and size and sometimes it’s right in front of him.
Today I had heard enough and while folding laundry he made a comment that the shirt I had must be TEBO’s because it would swallow him up. I said daddy would you please stop talking about his size and weight. I said he is 6’ tall and solid muscle. Yes, could he drop some weight, yes, but who couldn’t (my father included). Of course in daddy fashion he tries to say he was joking and didn’t mean anything by it. Well, STOP FREAKING DOING IT! Now I know with this horrible disease it will only get worse and not better but I had to vent to get it off my chest before I scream or say something to him I will regret.
Then, if that wasn’t enough we are watching the live for the Grammy countdown and of course artist dress all kind of ways and from every race and sizes. Well you guessed it, he has said something negative or derogatory about them all. I was ready to change the subject and he dozed off and as soon as he woke again it’s like he never missed a beat and started right back at it. UGH!
Dear Lord, grant me the patience to look past this and never disrespect my daddy.
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